目次
English_Practice
I checked my teeth before and I came back to Japan.
I am going to write what I did not know and checked when I came back temporary.
About Transit
Firstly, about transit. I had not made sure my Australia visa before, but I was checked my tourist visa of Australia. It was easy to apply for it and i received it within 5 minutes. Nevertheless, I was told about that before check-in and I did not have enough time.
However, I wondered if the staff did not check my visa when I entered in Australia. Moreover, I was guided to transfer and I got the ticket at the boarding reception. I have no idea what is correct. Just in case, I get the tourist visa.
About Censorship
Secondly, about censorship. NZ prohibite to bring much medicine. I can bring 3 months Prescription medications so I guess over-the-counter medications is same.
I brought Japanese medicine which my boss asked me as a souvenir. Japanese one has multiple effects quickly. On the other hand, NZ one has single pinpoint. The amount of ingredent are same between Japanese one and NZ one.
I wondered if it was not serious about that in Australia. It is strict for food especially meat because the staff told me seriously when I brought salty seaweed.
I understood like that. Personally, I should search about a country where I prepare to go. I prefer to have just hand luggage. See you later.
日本語版
以前歯に問題があって診察をしてもらったのですが、日本に帰国したほうが良いと判断して帰ってました。
一時帰国の際にいろいろ調べて改めて分かったことや知らなかったことを今回は書いていこうかと思います。
トランジットについて
まずはトランジットについてですね。以前はオーストラリアのビザの確認をされなかったのですが、今回は観光ビザを持っているかどうかを確認されました。申請自体は簡単で5分以内には届くので問題ないですがチェックイン直前で言われたのでかなり焦りました。時間も無かったですし。
ただ、オーストラリアに入国する際に何もビザの確認をされなかったのは不思議でしたね。また、前はtransfer のほうに案内されて搭乗窓口でチケットを発行してもらうという方法で乗ってました。未だに何が正解かは分かってないですね。一応観光ビザを取るようにしてますが。
検閲について
後は検閲ですねニュージーランドでは薬を大量に持っていくことが禁止されています。処方薬で3ヶ月分くらいらしいので市販薬も同じくらいだと思います.
これはお土産で日本の薬を持ってきてほしいとの話でした。少し調べてみると日本は複合的に色んな成分を入れてかつ即効性があるみたいですが、ニュージーランドは単一でピンポイントに効くような設計みたいです。成分量自体はそこまで変わらないみたいです。
オーストラリアは特に厳しなくないのが割と謎ですね。食料系とくに肉はどっちも厳しいと思います。塩昆布を持っていったとき肉だけ厳しく言われたので。
といった感じで改めていろいろわかったことでした。個人的には少し学びになったので海外に行く前はもう少し事前に調べてから行く準備をしとほうがよいな感じました。私は手荷物だけで済むような旅行が好みではありますが。ではでは。
AI採点
🔎 総合評価（推定）
Overall Band: 5.0 – 5.5
| 項目 | 推定Band | 理由 |
|---|---|---|
| Task Response | 5 | 内容は伝わるが浅い・説明不足 |
| Coherence & Cohesion | 5 | 接続が不自然／論理の流れが弱い |
| Lexical Resource | 5 | 不自然な語彙選択が多い |
| Grammar Range & Accuracy | 4.5–5 | 文法ミスが頻発 |
❌ 文法・語彙の詳細指摘（全文）
① 冒頭
I checked my teeth before and I came back to Japan.
🔴 不自然
- “checked my teeth” → 自分でチェックした意味になる
- 時制が不自然
✅ 修正例：
I had a dental check-up and was advised to return to Japan.
I am going to write what I did not know and checked when I came back temporary.
🔴 ミス多数
- temporary → temporarily
- checked → found out
- 不自然な構造
✅ 修正例：
I am going to write about what I found out during my temporary return to Japan.
② Transit
I had not made sure my Australia visa before
🔴 make sure は目的語に that節が必要
🔴 Australia visa → Australian visa
✅
I had not checked whether I needed an Australian visa before.
I was checked my tourist visa of Australia.
🔴 受動＋能動が混ざっている
🔴 of Australia 不自然
✅
They checked whether I had a tourist visa for Australia.
i received it
🔴 i → I（基本ミス）
I was told about that before check-in
🔴 about that 不要
✅
I was told this just before check-in.
I wondered if the staff did not check my visa when I entered in Australia.
🔴 entered in ❌
→ entered Australia
🔴 if + did not → whether + they had not
✅
I wondered why the staff had not checked my visa when I entered Australia.
I got the ticket at the boarding reception.
🔴 boarding reception という語は存在しない
✅
I received my boarding pass at the transfer counter.
I have no idea what is correct.
🔴 時制一致
✅
I still have no idea what the correct procedure is.
③ Censorship
⚠️ 最大の問題点
「検閲」は censorship ではありません。
ここは customs inspection または border control。
🔴 censorship = 言論統制
NZ prohibite to bring much medicine.
🔴 prohibite ❌ prohibit
🔴 much medicine ❌ large amounts of medicine
🔴 文構造が崩壊
✅
In New Zealand, bringing large amounts of medicine is prohibited.
I can bring 3 months Prescription medications
🔴 P 大文字不要
🔴 前置詞不足
✅
I can bring up to three months’ worth of prescription medication.
I guess over-the-counter medications is same.
🔴 is → are
🔴 same → the same
Japanese one has multiple effects quickly.
🔴 one 連発は不自然
🔴 effects quickly 不自然
✅
Japanese medicine often contains multiple active ingredients and works quickly.
NZ one has single pinpoint.
🔴 文法崩壊
🔴 pinpoint 形容詞ではない
✅
In contrast, medicine in New Zealand tends to target a single symptom.
The amount of ingredent are same
🔴 ingredient spelling
🔴 amount → amounts
🔴 are → is
It is strict for food especially meat
🔴 for food 不自然
✅
They are strict about food, especially meat.
when I brought salty seaweed.
🔴 salty seaweed ❌
塩昆布 → salted kelp
④ 結論
I understood like that.
🔴 直訳すぎ
✅
That is what I learned from this experience.
I should search about a country where I prepare to go.
🔴 search about ❌
🔴 where I prepare to go ❌
✅
I should research a country before travelling there.
I prefer to have just hand luggage.
🔴 have hand luggage 不自然
✅
I prefer travelling with only hand luggage.
⚠️ IELTS Band 8 を目指すなら必要な改善点
1️⃣ 文法の精度
- 受動態の誤用
- 前置詞（enter Australia）
- 単数複数の一致
- 冠詞の欠落
→ 現状 Band 5 レベル
2️⃣ 語彙の自然さ
× censorship
× boarding reception
× pinpoint
→ Collocationの不足
3️⃣ アイデアの深さ
IELTSでは：
- なぜその制度があるのか
- 比較の背景理由
- 経験から何を学んだか
が必要。
今は「出来事の報告」に近い。
✍️ 改善後モデル例（Band 7–8）
一部のみ例：
During my temporary return to Japan, I learned several important things about international transit and customs regulations.
For example, I realised that even for transit in Australia, I needed to hold a valid tourist visa. Although the application process was quick, being informed just before check-in caused unnecessary stress.
In addition, I became aware of New Zealand’s strict regulations regarding medication imports. Travellers are generally allowed to bring up to three months’ worth of prescription medication, and similar limits apply to over-the-counter drugs.
📊 最大の減点ポイントまとめ
- 文法エラーが頻発（特に動詞）
- 不自然な語彙選択
- 「検閲」の誤訳（重大）
- 語数不足
- 深い分析が不足
📝 Band 8 Model Answer
During my temporary return to Japan for dental treatment, I learned several important lessons about international transit procedures and customs regulations.
Firstly, I discovered that even when merely transiting through Australia, holding a valid tourist visa may be required. On a previous trip, my visa had not been checked, so I assumed it was unnecessary. However, this time airline staff asked me to confirm whether I had obtained one. Although the application process itself was straightforward and approval was granted within minutes, being informed just before check-in caused considerable stress. What puzzled me most was that no one checked my visa upon arrival in Australia. In the past, I had simply followed the transfer signs and received my boarding pass at the transfer counter. Even now, I am not entirely certain what the correct procedure is, so I now obtain a visa in advance as a precaution.
Secondly, I gained a clearer understanding of customs regulations regarding medication. In New Zealand, travellers are generally permitted to bring up to three months’ supply of prescription medicine, and similar restrictions appear to apply to over-the-counter drugs. I had been asked to bring Japanese medicine as a souvenir, which prompted me to research the regulations more carefully. It seems that Japanese medicines often contain multiple active ingredients designed to provide rapid relief, whereas New Zealand medicines tend to focus on targeting a single symptom. Despite differences in formulation, the quantity restrictions are strictly enforced. Food items, particularly meat products, are also carefully inspected.
Overall, this experience taught me the importance of researching entry requirements thoroughly before travelling. Even when travelling with only hand luggage, preparation and accurate information are essential to avoid unnecessary complications.
